1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize