Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
