I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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