Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
