I must be too annoying 4 u.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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