There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
