Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
