Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
