In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
