I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
