Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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