hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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