Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
