i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
