I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
