I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
