Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
