and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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