i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
