3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
"it" just moved
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
