He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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