ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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