i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
