so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
