Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
