I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
