Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize