Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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