I think my vagina is haunted
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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