also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
