Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
