We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
porn star boner night. come get it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
