the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
