First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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