My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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