am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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