I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
