The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
