We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The power of my boobs compel you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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