DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
