I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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