I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
