She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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