I'm eating all of the evidence.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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