Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
