walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
