at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
