if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
