I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You've changed since you got that strap on
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
