I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
