the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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