i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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