I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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