what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
