It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I need moral support for this bender
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize