im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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