you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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