Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
