I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
