Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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