Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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