i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
try to milk me bitch
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