id be glad to
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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