Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
