Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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